How many times have I said it? How many times have YOU said it? How many times have WE ALL said it?
“I’m starting tomorrow.”
“I’m starting Monday”….”January 1st”…..”July 5th”…..”Right after Thanksgiving”
Yeah so, I’ve probably “started” over 1,000 times in my life. I have lived my life in the starting blocks. Sure sometimes I would take off with a great burst of energy only for it to wear away and I find myself out of breath, hands on my hips walking back to the start line. Other times, the gun would go off and I would just sit down on the sideline, but my heart and head would still be focused on getting back out there.
I may not know all of what I’m doing, this is new to me, but I do know what I will not be doing. Dieting. Diets don’t work. And that’s not just me saying that because I’m fat and bitter about it…there are studies to prove it. It’s a fact that more than 97% of people that go on a diet gain most of the weight back if not more. So my 100% failure rate is right in line. I have lost 40 lbs and gained back 60. Lost 15 lbs, gained back 30. I even lost 90 lbs and gained it ALL back. I’m just not good at this. So, I’m not going to do it anymore. Well that’s what I told myself a few months ago. And I haven’t looked back.
I decided I’m never starting again. Dieting, restricting, micromanaging, weight watching, none of it! I admit there was a fear that once I stopped I would become an out-of-control food monster that would eat everything in sight, wreak havoc on my body, and assault all the fast food drive-thrus of America. But I slowed down, breathed, and thought about it. I wasn’t going to let myself go, I was going to let myself BE. BE aware. BE present. BE grateful.
I realized that the moment we decide to “start” a diet, the days leading up to it become a farewell celebration to all the foods we love and adore but must part with because they simply don’t fit into our upcoming restriction that holds the hope of a better day – a better life – a better me. The feast before the famine.
So now with no famine in sight… what’s the need for the feast?
To date, I haven’t had a food binge. My weight has stabilized. Most importantly my focus on food has been quieted. It’s not completely at 0%… but it’s not the blaring 110% that it once was.
Our lives are not races to be won. Our bodies are not the battlefields to be conquered – our minds are. If there’s anything I run for, fight for, it’s for peace, joy and gratitude for the abundance that I have within each and every breath.
There is no start. There is no finish. There’s only now.